sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

thumb_up thumb_down -55

When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Being fat

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

thumb_up thumb_down -61

check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

thumb_up thumb_down -77

I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

thumb_up thumb_down -79

i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

thumb_up thumb_down -79

I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

thumb_up thumb_down -81

Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -83

Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

thumb_up thumb_down -109

Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Use my phone to see what time it is

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.