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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.
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-59
make south park refferences every day
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-65
When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.
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-67
(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?
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-71
I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .
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-71
Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids
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-75
click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air
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-81
I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim
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-81
I gotta get down of Friday
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-81
I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.
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-97
see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway
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-109
When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop
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-109
Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away
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-109
I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?
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-113
Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.
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+40
.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.
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+34
Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.
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+32
When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.
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+28
Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.
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+26
Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks
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+24
A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)
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+20
Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.
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+18
You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.
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+12
When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.
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+8
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.