I chew my ice cream.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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Pretend to be texting to look popular in public

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Do somthing only you do

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I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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Hang something small in front of the webcam, in case someone is secretly watching me.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.