Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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Tear up when I poop

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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Think about the things you could do with you had the power to stop the time.

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my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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Randomly agree for the Terms of Service for just about everything on the internet. Then becoming very frightened at the thought that you have violated them in some way.

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I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

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Hide important things in places at home but forget later where you hid them.

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I pick a green crayon from crayon box but it's one of those yellow-greens that look yellow and now my clover will be half yellow forever.

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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Look to the right, and see nothing. Look to the left, and see nothing. Look to the right again, and see the chick from the ring (or some scary shit) standing there.

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.