When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

Use my phone to see what time it is

Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

not be afraid of hurricane sandy

When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

get really freaked out when your in a parking lot and the car next to you starts backing up and you think your moving forward.

Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.