I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

I read the down voted posts

Listening to more obscure music in a public place and turning it up in hopes that someone will ask you what you're listening to and you can tell them about it/open their minds.

Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.