When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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Listening to more obscure music in a public place and turning it up in hopes that someone will ask you what you're listening to and you can tell them about it/open their minds.

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Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

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Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

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listen to madonnas new album

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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I think Frozen is an overrated film

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

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I Masturbate Daily.

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Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.