Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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I can only play a piano with my right hand

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When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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Videotape my mother in the shower.

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

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go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

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Poo really loud

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.