- Things You Think Only You Do

Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

Sometimes after a long, hard day or when something bad happens I just sit down and cry in the shower.

If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

Try stick to something but fail in the end

I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.