Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

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When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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I think Frozen is an overrated film

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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Courtesy flush.

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I Masturbate Daily.

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

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Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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Boinked my neighbor

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.