Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

Justin Beiber is a woman

I talk to inanimate objects daily.

when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

I lift my butt when I'm farting

have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

I don't read the terms of service.

When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.