Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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I piss in the bed every night

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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not be afraid of hurricane sandy

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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I scratch and sniff.

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I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

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Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.