When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

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Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

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I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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Make up a song to yourself.

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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I wonder if sport games are rigged?

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.