When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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Boring car ride? Read every food & drinks rapper you can find .

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I brush my teeth in the shower and use the shower for a waterpik.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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fall asleep in the shower.

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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Being fat

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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when i listen to music in my earphones, i always pretend its me performing the song to an audience.

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

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I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.