How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

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I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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Hang something small in front of the webcam, in case someone is secretly watching me.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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I used to eat bath bubbles

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Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

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I read the down voted posts

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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fall asleep in the shower.

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When a book is boring, i will think of my favouite song and then i will start singing the book, like i will look at the words and ligit, start singing them in my favourite tune~im so weird

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.