- Things You Think Only You Do

I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

I spin around in a spot, and then close my eyes and tilt my head up and to the opposite side i'm spinning to. It just feels awesome and it's even better while listening to music.

Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

I lift my butt when I'm farting

I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.