Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

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Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

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When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

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I hit the frig after sex

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.