When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

Videotape my mother in the shower.

I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

Poo really loud

think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.