- Things You Think Only You Do

Put my hands together the 'other' way

as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

I like to watch lava lamps heat up

Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

Half of these posts are all but "things you think only you do". So is mine

browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

get really freaked out when your in a parking lot and the car next to you starts backing up and you think your moving forward.

I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.