i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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Ur mum

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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the time where you sit behind a person that smells like BO badly!!!

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Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

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I ship Bolin and Korra as a romance and a bromance. Am I weird for doing this?

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.