Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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I like to watch lava lamps heat up

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.