I chew my ice cream.

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

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Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.