wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

pee when you are dreaming haha lol

Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.