- Things You Think Only You Do

forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

not eating the ends of a hotdog.

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

make south park refferences every day

I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

I gotta get down of Friday

Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.