sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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Listening to more obscure music in a public place and turning it up in hopes that someone will ask you what you're listening to and you can tell them about it/open their minds.

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I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

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Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

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eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.