Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

Sitting down in the shower

Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

try to give your friends spirit animals

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

When I am bored I look at things and wonder about the people who made them, and at what time they were made, etc. Like whether my Bic pen was made in the morning or the night. Savy.

Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.