Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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Boring car ride? Read every food & drinks rapper you can find .

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Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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If I'm trying to read a clock or bulletin from far away, I instinctively stand and point at it.

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Imagining yourself in the "Last Supper" scene. (in Jesus's spot matter of fact)

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I have our own language, consisting of movie quotes and silly stuff we made up when we were little. We speak it with abandon when we're alone, and try as hard as we can to suppress it when we're with a friend. But sometimes some of it slips out, and the friend looks at us like he's the guy who isn't in on the joke; I always get the feeling he or she thinks the two of us are crazy. By the way, if you're the third person in company with two close siblings who are speaking their own secret language, don't ask them to explain or look at them like they're crazy. They're not nuts, and you won't understand, even if they try to explain. Just let it pass.

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.