....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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turn off the alarm clock one minute before its goes off when you wake up in the morning

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Everytime I have ear buds in and I hear myself breathing, I think others can hear it too so I slow my breathing or hold my breath.

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Learn how to say "I love you" in a different language, just to say it to the person you like and observe their dumbfounded expressions.

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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You pretend to fight imaginary people while no ones looking:/ But you look like the star wars kid...

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Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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Sometimes after a long, hard day or when something bad happens I just sit down and cry in the shower.

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

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my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

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Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

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Feeling sorry for objects to throw away!! Haha anyone els?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.