When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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I like to watch lava lamps heat up

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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I mean Diana Ross.

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Do somthing only you do

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.