I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

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Sometimes after a long, hard day or when something bad happens I just sit down and cry in the shower.

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I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

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If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

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Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.