When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

I talk to inanimate objects daily.

fall asleep in the shower.

When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

I don't read the terms of service.

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.