Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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Count how many steps there are in a stairwell I use often and then try to take it by same number each time... Eg if there are 16 then always go by twos and missing the others!?!?!?

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

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When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.