I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

Make up a song to yourself.

The older I get the more honest I get

When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Feeling sorry for objects to throw away!! Haha anyone els?

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.