After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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I was the real Stig...

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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The older I get the more honest I get

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When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.