standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Only use the left earphone.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Being fat

thumb_up thumb_down -64

All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

thumb_up thumb_down -66

rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

thumb_up thumb_down -84

Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

thumb_up thumb_down -86

scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

thumb_up thumb_down -86

I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

thumb_up thumb_down -88

Put my hands together the 'other' way

thumb_up thumb_down -96

When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

thumb_up thumb_down -114

Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

thumb_up thumb_down -114

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.