- Things You Think Only You Do

brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

Tear up when I poop

freak out if poster or pictures eyes are looking at me and can't have pictures in my room of famous people, however if I'm out and scared i have to have the pictures on my phone look at me for safety.....really wondering if any one else has this

while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.