Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

Count how many steps there are in a stairwell I use often and then try to take it by same number each time... Eg if there are 16 then always go by twos and missing the others!?!?!?

Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

acting as if you can shoot with a banana

Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.