- Things You Think Only You Do

I brush my teeth in the shower and use the shower for a waterpik.

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

fall asleep in the shower.

recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

Keep trying to defend your point even after you've realized you're wrong in an argument

Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

Tear up when I poop

Create the perfect song/poem/philosophical theory/scientific discovery right before you fall asleep and forget it in the morning.

I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.