- Things You Think Only You Do

Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

I have a phobia of incest

When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....fap fap fap"

While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.