When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

When a book is boring, i will think of my favouite song and then i will start singing the book, like i will look at the words and ligit, start singing them in my favourite tune~im so weird

When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

I Masturbate Daily.

Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.