- Things You Think Only You Do

While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

test how many stares you can scale in one step

When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

i masturbate with my feet

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

Love feet. like LOVE feet.

Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.