cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

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If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

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When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

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Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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Knowing and feeling that the whole world is out to get me............ And only me......... I know.......... Weird right??????

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When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.