Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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Ur mum

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.