....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.