- Things You Think Only You Do

My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

Picking your dogs booger for him/her

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.