think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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Sleep with pillow between legs

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.

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Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

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Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.