- Things You Think Only You Do

Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

I chew my ice cream.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.