I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Make up a song to yourself.

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.