When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

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feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

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Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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Courtesy flush.

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

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i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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Make up a song to yourself.

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.