In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

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Keep things on my body equal. ex. Hold something in my right hand so I hold something equally heavy in my left hand.

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When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

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When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

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has a plastic bag full of plastic bags in your house

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Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

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feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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Courtesy flush.

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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k. everyone

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.