- Things You Think Only You Do

When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

Ur mum

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.