Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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I think Frozen is an overrated film

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

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When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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Make up a song to yourself.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.