see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

test how many stares you can scale in one step

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Thinking your life is a movie...

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.