see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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test how many stares you can scale in one step

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

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eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.