When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

Courtesy flush.

getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

Make up a song to yourself.

Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.