Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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Keep trying to defend your point even after you've realized you're wrong in an argument

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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not be afraid of hurricane sandy

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

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Save more than once on your favourite game.

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When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.