I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

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Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

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When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

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Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.