Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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I read the down voted posts

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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Listening to more obscure music in a public place and turning it up in hopes that someone will ask you what you're listening to and you can tell them about it/open their minds.

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Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

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Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

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Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.