Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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Being fat

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Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.