That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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test how many stares you can scale in one step

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Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

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make south park refferences every day

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.