I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

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When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.