Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

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Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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I like to watch lava lamps heat up

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.