You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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Reading all these posts and being reminded that we are all more similar to each other than we think, regardless of whatever group each of us may belong to.

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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I think Frozen is an overrated film

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I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

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not eating the ends of a hotdog.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

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Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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I Masturbate Daily.

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Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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i masturbate with my feet

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.