- Things You Think Only You Do

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

I gotta get down of Friday

Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.