If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

I used to eat bath bubbles

When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

Justin Beiber is a woman

Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.