Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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Hang something small in front of the webcam, in case someone is secretly watching me.

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Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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I imagine that there are lines coming out from things and I don't step on the lines (columns, buildings, walls, corners, etc.)

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When I'm around people, I sometimes yell in my head "STOP READING MY MIND! I KNOW YOU'RE DOING IT, SO STOP!" just in case.

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When a teacher at school leaves a line of pen on the big whiteboard, my attention can NOT be drawn from it.

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I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

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I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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listen to madonnas new album

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.