Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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when i listen to music in my earphones, i always pretend its me performing the song to an audience.

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

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Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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I sometimes watch entire movies with the sound off and a good album playing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.