try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

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Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

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When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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I always try to play it cool and act like it’s no big deal. But I always have a mini anxiety attack before actually stepping onto a moving escalator. It is a task trying to time my step perfectly where my foot isn’t hanging off a step and I have to hurry my second foot on there isn’t an awdward space of steps between my feet. -Ikka

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Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

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When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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test how many stares you can scale in one step

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.