I think Frozen is an overrated film

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Courtesy flush.

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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Love feet. like LOVE feet.

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.