Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

when i listen to music in my earphones, i always pretend its me performing the song to an audience.

Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

I sometimes watch entire movies with the sound off and a good album playing.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.