- Things You Think Only You Do

I chew my ice cream.

Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

Sleep with pillow between legs

not be afraid of hurricane sandy

I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

I mean Diana Ross.

Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.