Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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I like to watch lava lamps heat up

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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Make up a song to yourself.

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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Feeling sorry for objects to throw away!! Haha anyone els?

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

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Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.