You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

Reading all these posts and being reminded that we are all more similar to each other than we think, regardless of whatever group each of us may belong to.

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

I think Frozen is an overrated film

I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

not eating the ends of a hotdog.

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

I Masturbate Daily.

Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

i masturbate with my feet

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.