- Things You Think Only You Do

I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

Ur mum

I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

sometimes sigh sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.