How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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I used to eat bath bubbles

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I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

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moving your hand with objects that are already moving and pretending you have the force.

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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Picking your dogs booger for him/her

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

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When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

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When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

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Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

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Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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When I find a new song I like, I listen to it over and over and over; >>Until I run that sh*t into the ground.

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when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.