- Things You Think Only You Do

When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

Ur mum

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

sometimes sigh sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.