When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

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When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

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I have memorized my drivers license registration number

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.