I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

Use my phone to see what time it is

Try stick to something but fail in the end

You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

I scratch and sniff.

Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

Be a loner at school

Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.