while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.