Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

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When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

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I can only play a piano with my right hand

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

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Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

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I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.