while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.