I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

thumb_up thumb_down -27

When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

thumb_up thumb_down -29

When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

thumb_up thumb_down -31

use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

thumb_up thumb_down -41

I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

thumb_up thumb_down -43

(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

thumb_up thumb_down -53

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.