I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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Being fat

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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I look at this site and wonder if the thumbs up are all from people who actually do the same thing, or just people who like that or think it's a funny thing to do.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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I gotta get down of Friday

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I was the real Stig...

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.