Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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Pretend to be texting to look popular in public

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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Do somthing only you do

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I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

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When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

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Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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Hang something small in front of the webcam, in case someone is secretly watching me.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

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I used to eat bath bubbles

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When I'm around people, I sometimes yell in my head "STOP READING MY MIND! I KNOW YOU'RE DOING IT, SO STOP!" just in case.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.