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Clarksonisms
Japan is Weird
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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate
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-58
I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.
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-58
eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white
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-62
Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4
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-62
rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.
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-64
I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)
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-64
When I am bored I look at things and wonder about the people who made them, and at what time they were made, etc. Like whether my Bic pen was made in the morning or the night. Savy.
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-66
i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else
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-66
I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...
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-78
I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.
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-78
I gotta get down of Friday
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-80
Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.
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-82
when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..
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-88
When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop
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-102
laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.
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-106
When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better
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-112
when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi
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-118
Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.
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-126
The older I get the more honest I get
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+63
When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.
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+59
Run faster down hotel corridors.
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+49
Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.
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+35
Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D
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+33
Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.
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+11
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.