- Things You Think Only You Do

only read the short jokes on this website

fall asleep in the shower.

when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

When I'm watching a video on YouTube, I repeatedly click on the video slider section below the video because I feel uncomfortable not doing it, ever since I realized that you can't move to different parts of the video with your keyboard without clicking there first.

judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

Ur mum

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.