Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

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Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

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I ship Bolin and Korra as a romance and a bromance. Am I weird for doing this?

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.