Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

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When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

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When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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I always go to sleep with every single one of my stuffed animals in my arms at the same time because I think that they get lonely and sad if I pick certain ones. Then again I sometimes wonder if they secretly hate me and think I'm a weird creep for hugging all of them every night. I'm 24.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.