When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

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Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.