- Things You Think Only You Do

Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

sometimes sigh sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.