IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

Use my phone to see what time it is

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.