Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.

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Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

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Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

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When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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I feel that getting a 98 on a test is better than getting a 99.

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

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Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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Ur mum

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.