When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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I ship Bolin and Korra as a romance and a bromance. Am I weird for doing this?

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Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.