Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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Show all your friends this website to prove your not as strange as they think you are.

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fap

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.