If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

I talk to inanimate objects daily.

I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

blink

I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.