Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

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When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

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If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.