I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

thumb_up thumb_down +1

strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Try stick to something but fail in the end

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

thumb_up thumb_down -11

play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

thumb_up thumb_down -13

While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

thumb_up thumb_down -17

When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

thumb_up thumb_down -17

It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Be a loner at school

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

thumb_up thumb_down -23

when i watch a movie, and a character in it gos underwater, i hold my breath with that person until that person gets above water, then i let go, either that, after the character comes up from the water, i still hold my breath until i cant take it anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.