If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

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I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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blink

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.