sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.