Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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Feeling sorry for objects to throw away!! Haha anyone els?

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Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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I wonder if sport games are rigged?

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Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

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Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.