Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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When someone close to me sadly passes on and later when I am listening to the radio if I hear a song that sounds suitable to that moment I kind of make that our song if that makes sense to any of you

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

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I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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I used to eat bath bubbles

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.