I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

Run faster down hotel corridors.

When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.