Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.