- Things You Think Only You Do

I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

sometimes sigh sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.