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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.