Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.