Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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Burp, and then automatically say burp afterwards.

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

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I sometimes watch entire movies with the sound off and a good album playing.

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turn the colour down on your tv and pretend what you are watching is an old movie

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not be afraid of hurricane sandy

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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Create the perfect song/poem/philosophical theory/scientific discovery right before you fall asleep and forget it in the morning.

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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I combine every item on my plate in all the possible ways, then i eat the worst part of the meal and save the best part til last.

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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I never find things funny unless I'm in a completely silent room, and it is then that I think or see something funny and begin to almost cry of laughter.

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

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Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.