No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.