Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

thumb_up thumb_down +5

browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

thumb_up thumb_down +3

When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I mean Diana Ross.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

thumb_up thumb_down -11

If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

thumb_up thumb_down -13

cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

thumb_up thumb_down -19

taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

thumb_up thumb_down -29

When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.