rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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when i listen to music in my earphones, i always pretend its me performing the song to an audience.

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IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.