shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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I used to eat bath bubbles

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Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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Count how many steps there are in a stairwell I use often and then try to take it by same number each time... Eg if there are 16 then always go by twos and missing the others!?!?!?

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I think of who will I save if a killer come to school

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

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Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.