- Things You Think Only You Do

browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

not be afraid of hurricane sandy

Save more than once on your favourite game.

I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

I have a band in my head that performs for me every time I listen to music.

put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

Whe someone buys you a gift and you think they have installed a camera into it or can somehow mentally see you when that gift is near you. Resulting in you acting strange around that it or when you are present in the same room as that gift

Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

Be a loner at school

Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

Justin Beiber is a woman

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.