I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

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I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

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I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

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When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.