Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

I mean Diana Ross.

turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.