I Masturbate Daily.

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I have memorized my drivers license registration number

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.