When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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Sleep with pillow between legs

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

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If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

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get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.