I Masturbate Daily.

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.