Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

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Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

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When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

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Count how many steps there are in a stairwell I use often and then try to take it by same number each time... Eg if there are 16 then always go by twos and missing the others!?!?!?

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

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Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.