- Things You Think Only You Do

Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

Justin Beiber is a woman

Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

I read the down voted posts

Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

I spin around in a spot, and then close my eyes and tilt my head up and to the opposite side i'm spinning to. It just feels awesome and it's even better while listening to music.

Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

the power to regenerate your appendix

when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.