Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

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Sometimes I toot.

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

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When someone close to me sadly passes on and later when I am listening to the radio if I hear a song that sounds suitable to that moment I kind of make that our song if that makes sense to any of you

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.