I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

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Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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Knowing and feeling that the whole world is out to get me............ And only me......... I know.......... Weird right??????

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.