see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

i masturbate with my feet

I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.