Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

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If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

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When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.