I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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Count how many steps there are in a stairwell I use often and then try to take it by same number each time... Eg if there are 16 then always go by twos and missing the others!?!?!?

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.