Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

Ur mum

I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

Courtesy flush.

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.