Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

I used to eat bath bubbles

I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

Justin Beiber is a woman

I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

I spin around in a spot, and then close my eyes and tilt my head up and to the opposite side i'm spinning to. It just feels awesome and it's even better while listening to music.

Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

only read the short jokes on this website

Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.