Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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Do somthing only you do

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

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When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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Sometimes I toot.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

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Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

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Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.