I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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TV turned on just so... Makes you not feeling alone or because some other unknown (or) irrational reason.And of course, feeling guilty cause you spending energy and money but still... Most of the time you just don't care.

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

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Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

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Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

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Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.