watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

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IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.