I Masturbate Daily.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -65

I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

thumb_up thumb_down -75

You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

thumb_up thumb_down -77

check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -83

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

thumb_up thumb_down -87

Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

thumb_up thumb_down -89

Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

thumb_up thumb_down -89

When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

thumb_up thumb_down -89

Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -93

(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

thumb_up thumb_down -107

I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

thumb_up thumb_down -111

Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

thumb_up thumb_down -113

as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

thumb_up thumb_down -115

Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

thumb_up thumb_down -115

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.