When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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Sleep with pillow between legs

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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not be afraid of hurricane sandy

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

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Sometimes I toot.

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

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When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

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I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.