Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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I think of who will I save if a killer come to school

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

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Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.