- Things You Think Only You Do

Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

I Masturbate Daily.

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.