Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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Ur mum

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When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.