I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I wonder if sport games are rigged?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

thumb_up thumb_down -2

When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Sometimes I toot.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

thumb_up thumb_down -8

You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I have a band in my head that performs for me every time I listen to music.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

thumb_up thumb_down -14

freak out if poster or pictures eyes are looking at me and can't have pictures in my room of famous people, however if I'm out and scared i have to have the pictures on my phone look at me for safety.....really wondering if any one else has this

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.