When I am bored I look at things and wonder about the people who made them, and at what time they were made, etc. Like whether my Bic pen was made in the morning or the night. Savy.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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im going to kill that person and get away with it

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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I was the real Stig...

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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When it is raining and a sad song comes on the radio, I look out the window and pretend I am in a movie. -Cocobear

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.