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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.
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-89
Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.
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-89
Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry
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-93
(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.
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-95
laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.
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-107
I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.
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-111
Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .
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-113
as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT
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-115
Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"
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-129
Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.
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+62
Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.
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+56
Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.
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+48
Go for a 10 mile run.
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+40
Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.
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+38
get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast
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+38
check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.
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+34
Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.
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+34
Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.
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+34
.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.
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+32
I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.
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+24
Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.
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+18
That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.
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+14
Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.
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+10
like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy
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+6
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.