When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

Run faster down hotel corridors.

Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

Use my phone to see what time it is

look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

Half of these posts are all but "things you think only you do". So is mine

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.