I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

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Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.