I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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Count how many steps there are in a stairwell I use often and then try to take it by same number each time... Eg if there are 16 then always go by twos and missing the others!?!?!?

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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Ur mum

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.