I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

I wonder if sport games are rigged?

Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

Sometimes I toot.

Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

I have a band in my head that performs for me every time I listen to music.

cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

freak out if poster or pictures eyes are looking at me and can't have pictures in my room of famous people, however if I'm out and scared i have to have the pictures on my phone look at me for safety.....really wondering if any one else has this

Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.