I hit the frig after sex

hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

When i was little i used to see people's cars shaking and wondered why they were listening to a song that just goes "BOOM BOOM BOOM"

When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

pee when you are dreaming haha lol

while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.