When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

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You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

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When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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Save more than once on your favourite game.

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Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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Hang something small in front of the webcam, in case someone is secretly watching me.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.