I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

Run faster down hotel corridors.

Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.