Being fat

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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I **** with no hands.

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Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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I gotta get down of Friday

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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I have a phobia of incest

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.