Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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I don't read the terms of service.

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When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

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go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

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forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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Show all your friends this website to prove your not as strange as they think you are.

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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fap

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Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

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I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.