Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

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try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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Save more than once on your favourite game.

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Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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Sometimes I toot.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.