I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

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I spin around in a spot, and then close my eyes and tilt my head up and to the opposite side i'm spinning to. It just feels awesome and it's even better while listening to music.

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

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When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

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go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.