Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

acting as if you can shoot with a banana

I cant ride a bike

When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.