I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

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Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.