- Things You Think Only You Do

When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

Ur mum

whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.