- Things You Think Only You Do

Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

listen to madonnas new album

Eating chicken at KFC.

Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

fall asleep in the shower.

recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

Smoking in the shower.

Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.