suddenly get stage fright when in a public bathroom stall and break the awkward silence by pretending you just went in there to get loo paper to blow your nose.

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

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When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

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Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I have our own language, consisting of movie quotes and silly stuff we made up when we were little. We speak it with abandon when we're alone, and try as hard as we can to suppress it when we're with a friend. But sometimes some of it slips out, and the friend looks at us like he's the guy who isn't in on the joke; I always get the feeling he or she thinks the two of us are crazy. By the way, if you're the third person in company with two close siblings who are speaking their own secret language, don't ask them to explain or look at them like they're crazy. They're not nuts, and you won't understand, even if they try to explain. Just let it pass.

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

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Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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I find it easiest to read or study while sitting on the toilet.

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worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

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Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

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I pee on the bathroom sink everytime, because I am lazy to open the toilet, even when I visit other people, sorry friends and family =)

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Go to the kitchen to eat, forget what I'm doing, go back to whatever I was doing, and realizing that I'm hungry.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.