DIY LOL
Funny Tip Jars
I AM DISAPPOINT
Parent Failure
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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....
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-51
Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.
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-51
if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down
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-51
Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.
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-53
I have memorized my drivers license registration number
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-55
When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.
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-57
Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.
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-59
Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.
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-59
Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate
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-59
Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.
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-61
Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.
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-63
Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.
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-63
i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else
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-67
I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.
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-73
After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.
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-79
I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.
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-79
I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...
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-79
When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"
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-83
Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o
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-83
click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air
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-83
When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning
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-91
Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.
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-101
I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...
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-109
as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT
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-113
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.