if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

k. everyone

Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.