Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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I gotta get down of Friday

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.