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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.
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-20
Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.
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-22
When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.
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-24
Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.
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-26
I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid
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-26
I can only play a piano with my right hand
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-28
When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".
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-28
Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.
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-30
Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.
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-30
Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person
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-30
When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.
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-30
When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in
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-32
Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.
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-32
Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain
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-32
When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.
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-36
Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio
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-36
Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...
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-38
Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other
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-38
While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.
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-40
after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too
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-42
Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.
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-42
Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.
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-44
Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.
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-44
No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...
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-46
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.