wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

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I can only play a piano with my right hand

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

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Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

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Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.