If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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not be afraid of hurricane sandy

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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I chew my ice cream.

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.