- Things You Think Only You Do

trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

get really freaked out when your in a parking lot and the car next to you starts backing up and you think your moving forward.

When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

I find it easiest to read or study while sitting on the toilet.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.