I Masturbate Daily.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

thumb_up thumb_down -57

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -65

All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

thumb_up thumb_down -75

check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

thumb_up thumb_down -77

You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -83

Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

thumb_up thumb_down -83

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

thumb_up thumb_down -87

Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

thumb_up thumb_down -89

Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -93

laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

thumb_up thumb_down -107

I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

thumb_up thumb_down -111

Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

thumb_up thumb_down -113

as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

thumb_up thumb_down -115

Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

thumb_up thumb_down -129

Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.