I Masturbate Daily.

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.