When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

I don't read the terms of service.

When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

Show all your friends this website to prove your not as strange as they think you are.

Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

fap

Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.