Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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I was the real Stig...

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.