Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.