I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

I gotta get down of Friday

thumb_up thumb_down -77

only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

thumb_up thumb_down -77

click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

thumb_up thumb_down -83

I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

thumb_up thumb_down -89

Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

thumb_up thumb_down -99

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

thumb_up thumb_down -107

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

thumb_up thumb_down -115

Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

thumb_up thumb_down -123

Run faster down hotel corridors.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

thumb_up thumb_down +38

If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

thumb_up thumb_down +34

looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.