When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

thumb_up thumb_down -53

when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

I Masturbate Daily.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

thumb_up thumb_down -65

make south park refferences every day

thumb_up thumb_down -67

When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

thumb_up thumb_down -71

I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

thumb_up thumb_down -75

I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

thumb_up thumb_down -77

only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

thumb_up thumb_down -77

I gotta get down of Friday

thumb_up thumb_down -77

check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

thumb_up thumb_down -79

When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

thumb_up thumb_down -83

I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

thumb_up thumb_down -99

Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

thumb_up thumb_down -123

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.