- Things You Think Only You Do

Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

acting as if you can shoot with a banana

When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.