When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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TV turned on just so... Makes you not feeling alone or because some other unknown (or) irrational reason.And of course, feeling guilty cause you spending energy and money but still... Most of the time you just don't care.

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When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

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I pick at my cuticles when I'm bored.

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

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when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

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I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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Doing something private and think "What if my mom/dad/boss etc. saw me now?"

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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Pretend my life is a videogame.

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I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

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Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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I am 23 and I still wish the stalk will take back my younger brother

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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I hate being called "buddy".

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.