Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

thumb_up thumb_down -55

When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

k. everyone

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

thumb_up thumb_down -59

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

thumb_up thumb_down -67

I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

thumb_up thumb_down -79

After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

thumb_up thumb_down -83

Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

thumb_up thumb_down -83

Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

thumb_up thumb_down -101

I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

thumb_up thumb_down -109

as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

thumb_up thumb_down -113

Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

thumb_up thumb_down -123

Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

thumb_up thumb_down -133

Go for a 10 mile run.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.