I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

Feels my beard with my tongue.

When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

Always cover yourself in the bathroom mirror at home because you have this strange feeling that people at school are all watching you through your mirror~pls tell me im not the only one who ever feels this~oh well

I spin around in a spot, and then close my eyes and tilt my head up and to the opposite side i'm spinning to. It just feels awesome and it's even better while listening to music.

Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.