- Things You Think Only You Do

I mean Diana Ross.

turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.