I have memorized my drivers license registration number

I rehearse arguments in my head.

Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

i masturbate with my feet

Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

Thinking your life is a movie...

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

I was not born in the country I am living in now

You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

I was the real Stig...

I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.