Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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I **** with no hands.

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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Feeling sorry for objects to throw away!! Haha anyone els?

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

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Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

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Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.

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not be afraid of hurricane sandy

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.