Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.