Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

thumb_up thumb_down -64

When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

thumb_up thumb_down -66

When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

thumb_up thumb_down -74

I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

thumb_up thumb_down -78

I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

thumb_up thumb_down -80

I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

thumb_up thumb_down -84

You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

thumb_up thumb_down -94

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

thumb_up thumb_down -116

Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

thumb_up thumb_down -122

If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

I sleep in my underpants every single night

thumb_up thumb_down +27

When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.