Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

fall asleep in the shower.

When I find a new song I like, I listen to it over and over and over; >>Until I run that sh*t into the ground.

Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.