Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

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Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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Show all your friends this website to prove your not as strange as they think you are.

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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fap

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Courtesy flush.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.