- Things You Think Only You Do

Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

I scratch and sniff.

If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

Do somthing only you do

Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

Sometimes I toot.

Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.