When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.