I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

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Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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not eating the ends of a hotdog.

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whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

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i masturbate with my feet

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.