Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.