Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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Be a loner at school

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You or someone you know has a secret crush/liking but the always shout it to the world. My sister does that.(It's why I ask)

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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Listening to more obscure music in a public place and turning it up in hopes that someone will ask you what you're listening to and you can tell them about it/open their minds.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.