Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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I gotta get down of Friday

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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I sometime's wonder if other people can see and feel everything I can but are just in my body too judge me.

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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Sometimes I toot.

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I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.