OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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I rehearse arguments in my head.

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Only use the left earphone.

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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I **** with no hands.

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.