When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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I have memorized my drivers license registration number

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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i masturbate with my feet

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.