- Things You Think Only You Do

whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

I ship Bolin and Korra as a romance and a bromance. Am I weird for doing this?

Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

make south park refferences every day

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.