When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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I sometime's wonder if other people can see and feel everything I can but are just in my body too judge me.

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

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When someone close to me sadly passes on and later when I am listening to the radio if I hear a song that sounds suitable to that moment I kind of make that our song if that makes sense to any of you

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

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Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

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Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

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Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

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get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.