i masturbate with my feet

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Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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The older I get the more honest I get

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Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.