I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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bounce when your tip toeing.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

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When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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Tear up when I poop

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get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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Vote up your own websites posts, to make them look more popular!

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I spin around in a spot, and then close my eyes and tilt my head up and to the opposite side i'm spinning to. It just feels awesome and it's even better while listening to music.

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I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

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Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.