What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

thumb_up thumb_down -81

I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

thumb_up thumb_down -81

I gotta get down of Friday

thumb_up thumb_down -81

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -81

click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

thumb_up thumb_down -83

I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

thumb_up thumb_down -85

scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

thumb_up thumb_down -87

I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

thumb_up thumb_down -87

when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

thumb_up thumb_down -91

I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

thumb_up thumb_down -107

I have a phobia of incest

thumb_up thumb_down -121

If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

thumb_up thumb_down +86

Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

thumb_up thumb_down +30

dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.