after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

I lift my butt when I'm farting

have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

not eating the ends of a hotdog.

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.