When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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fall asleep in the shower.

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when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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When I find a new song I like, I listen to it over and over and over; >>Until I run that sh*t into the ground.

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.