browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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not be afraid of hurricane sandy

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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I mean Diana Ross.

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

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Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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when i watch a movie, and a character in it gos underwater, i hold my breath with that person until that person gets above water, then i let go, either that, after the character comes up from the water, i still hold my breath until i cant take it anymore.

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

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Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.