masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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Half of these posts are all but "things you think only you do". So is mine

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look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.

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When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.