try to give your friends spirit animals

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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When I am bored I look at things and wonder about the people who made them, and at what time they were made, etc. Like whether my Bic pen was made in the morning or the night. Savy.

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.

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I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.