I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

thumb_up thumb_down -33

in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

thumb_up thumb_down -35

When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

thumb_up thumb_down -37

When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

thumb_up thumb_down -43

I think Frozen is an overrated film

thumb_up thumb_down -43

forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

thumb_up thumb_down -45

I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.