get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.