I pee on the bathroom sink everytime, because I am lazy to open the toilet, even when I visit other people, sorry friends and family =)

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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Go to the kitchen to eat, forget what I'm doing, go back to whatever I was doing, and realizing that I'm hungry.

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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Think about the things you could do with you had the power to stop the time.

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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fall asleep in the shower.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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only read the short jokes on this website

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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I hate being called "buddy".

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Pee in the garbage at night when I don't want to wake the whole house up.

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

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rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.