Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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I gotta get down of Friday

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.