getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

Courtesy flush.

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

Kill Jb without getting aressted.

Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

Run faster down hotel corridors.

eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.