- Things You Think Only You Do

I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

I gotta get down of Friday

I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

The older I get the more honest I get

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.