Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

I read the down voted posts

Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

acting as if you can shoot with a banana

I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.