- Things You Think Only You Do

wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

acting as if you can shoot with a banana

Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

I can only play a piano with my right hand

Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

When I find a new song I like, I listen to it over and over and over; >>Until I run that sh*t into the ground.

When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

I talk to inanimate objects daily.

I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.