whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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i masturbate with my feet

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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When I am bored I look at things and wonder about the people who made them, and at what time they were made, etc. Like whether my Bic pen was made in the morning or the night. Savy.

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

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i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.