getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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Courtesy flush.

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.