Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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Sometimes I toot.

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I mean Diana Ross.

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

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Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

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I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

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Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

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Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

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When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.