Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

Love feet. like LOVE feet.

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.