I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

Believing in the kindness of strangers

trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.