Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.