Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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I sometime's wonder if other people can see and feel everything I can but are just in my body too judge me.

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

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When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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When someone close to me sadly passes on and later when I am listening to the radio if I hear a song that sounds suitable to that moment I kind of make that our song if that makes sense to any of you

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Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.