- Things You Think Only You Do

eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

I sleep in my underpants every single night

Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

I sometime's wonder if other people can see and feel everything I can but are just in my body too judge me.

When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.