- Things You Think Only You Do

I wonder if elections are rigged?

shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

I used to eat bath bubbles

Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

I think of who will I save if a killer come to school

I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

I talk to inanimate objects daily.

Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.