Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

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Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

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while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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I never side with the majority (if given a choice.)

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

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In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

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Try to stop a stopwatch exactly on 1 second with no extra milliseconds

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I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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See a sexy girl, wanna go up and talk to her....cant think of anything cool to say and afraid of denial. Just me?

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I hate being called "buddy".

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

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LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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Not wanting to think about something but your brain thinks about it because you are trying not to think about it so much.

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I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.