Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

I mean Diana Ross.

When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

I wonder if elections are rigged?

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.