Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

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I mean Diana Ross.

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When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

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while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.