get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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Picking your dogs booger for him/her

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Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

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When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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I think of who will I save if a killer come to school

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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fall asleep in the shower.

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.