look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

I hit the frig after sex

Half of these posts are all but "things you think only you do". So is mine

Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

Sometimes I toot.

I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

I mean Diana Ross.

I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.