When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

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Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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Whenever there is a volume button on something i have to make sure its on a number 5 ie: 0,5,10,15

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I gotta get down of Friday

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I **** with no hands.

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Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

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Assume that on another planet or galaxy there are people just like humans that look exactly like me. Like an alternate universe.

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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I wonder if a blind person knows how colors look?

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i always think people can hear my thoughts.

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I sometimes watch entire movies with the sound off and a good album playing.

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.