- Things You Think Only You Do

sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

fall asleep in the shower.

i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! end of special message just for you

Sitting down in the shower

Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.