- Things You Think Only You Do

I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

only read the short jokes on this website

While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

I think Frozen is an overrated film

Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

not eating the ends of a hotdog.

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

Courtesy flush.

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.