....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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I gotta get down of Friday

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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I was the real Stig...

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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When it is raining and a sad song comes on the radio, I look out the window and pretend I am in a movie. -Cocobear

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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I rate certain songs on my iPod higher than others because if someone else is checking out my playlists, I don't want them knowing how much I really love that super cheesy song from the early 90's (even though every time it comes on, I hit repeat at least 3 times and sing aloud as loudly as I think I can get away with. I really, really love that song!).

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.