I gotta get down of Friday

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

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When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

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Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.