Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

thumb_up thumb_down -63

I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Kill Jb without getting aressted.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

thumb_up thumb_down -81

Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

thumb_up thumb_down -81

If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

thumb_up thumb_down -87

Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

thumb_up thumb_down -93

When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

thumb_up thumb_down -113

Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.