I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.