Justin Beiber is a woman

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

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Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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fall asleep in the shower.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.