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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.
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-44
I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.
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-50
Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night
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-54
I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.
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-60
Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.
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-62
When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move
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-62
When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.
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-64
I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol
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-66
When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different
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-68
Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.
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-68
Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <
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-70
when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed
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-80
I **** with no hands.
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-80
(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.
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-88
Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.
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-94
Learn how to say "I love you" in a different language, just to say it to the person you like and observe their dumbfounded expressions.
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-96
I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...
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-98
Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away
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-104
laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.
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-112
masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"
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+19
I sometime's wonder if other people can see and feel everything I can but are just in my body too judge me.
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+15
Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.
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+15
Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."
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+13
When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.
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+5
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.