Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

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Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

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When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

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look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

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thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.