....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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I gotta get down of Friday

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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I was the real Stig...

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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I rate certain songs on my iPod higher than others because if someone else is checking out my playlists, I don't want them knowing how much I really love that super cheesy song from the early 90's (even though every time it comes on, I hit repeat at least 3 times and sing aloud as loudly as I think I can get away with. I really, really love that song!).

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Mayada stupid

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

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Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.