I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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The older I get the more honest I get

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.