Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

thumb_up thumb_down -100

Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

thumb_up thumb_down -104

When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

thumb_up thumb_down -112

when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

thumb_up thumb_down -120

The older I get the more honest I get

thumb_up thumb_down +63

When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I hit the frig after sex

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

not be afraid of hurricane sandy

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I mean Diana Ross.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.