I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

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When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.