- Things You Think Only You Do

When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

I think Frozen is an overrated film

I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

Ur mum

Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

Only use the left earphone.

When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.