masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

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Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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Half of these posts are all but "things you think only you do". So is mine

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look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

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When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.