- Things You Think Only You Do

I think of who will I save if a killer come to school

When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

fall asleep in the shower.

When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.