I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

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Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

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really wonder why there is so much talk about pooping and farting on this site

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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Stepping on a LEGO block and instantly screaming and leap onto the bed.

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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When I listen to certain songs,it makes me feel awsome :D I listen to alot of LinkinPark -Briarwoodninja

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I **** with no hands.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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Read this site's posts, think of something awesome to write but then forget it because you decided to read more and finish the page rather than write it immediately.

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

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Burp, and then automatically say burp afterwards.

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.