Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

Being fat

Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

Sitting down in the shower

watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

I have autofocus in my eyes.

I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

I **** with no hands.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.