everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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I have memorized my drivers license registration number

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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Only use the left earphone.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.