I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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Think of something really hilarious to put on the internet, read the rest of a post, and then forget what you were going to write.

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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really wonder why there is so much talk about pooping and farting on this site

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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Love feet. like LOVE feet.

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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Stepping on a LEGO block and instantly screaming and leap onto the bed.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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While making yourself something to eat that takes more than 5 minuets to make. Pretending that you have your own show on a cooking station and talk like your talking to the audience the whole time.

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I **** with no hands.

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.