when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind

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When i was little i used to see people's cars shaking and wondered why they were listening to a song that just goes "BOOM BOOM BOOM"

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When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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fall asleep in the shower.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

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When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.