try to give your friends spirit animals

When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

I sleep in my underpants every single night

When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.