watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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I gotta get down of Friday

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i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.