I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

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Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.