- Things You Think Only You Do

I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

I don't read the terms of service.

Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

Courtesy flush.

Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

Picking my nose.

Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.