Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

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if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

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I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

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Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

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Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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When I find a new song I like, I listen to it over and over and over; >>Until I run that sh*t into the ground.

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When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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Listening to more obscure music in a public place and turning it up in hopes that someone will ask you what you're listening to and you can tell them about it/open their minds.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.