I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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When someone close to me sadly passes on and later when I am listening to the radio if I hear a song that sounds suitable to that moment I kind of make that our song if that makes sense to any of you

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Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

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I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

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Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

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I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

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I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.