I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.