- Things You Think Only You Do

think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

I Masturbate Daily.

When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

Being fat

When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

Kill Jb without getting aressted.

Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.