Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

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when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.