When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

thumb_up thumb_down -31

When I find a new song I like, I listen to it over and over and over; >>Until I run that sh*t into the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

thumb_up thumb_down -35

When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

thumb_up thumb_down -37

You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Reading all these posts and being reminded that we are all more similar to each other than we think, regardless of whatever group each of us may belong to.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

thumb_up thumb_down -43

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

thumb_up thumb_down -47

not eating the ends of a hotdog.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.