When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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Watching movies about couples with age gaps and woundering how it would feel like to be with somebody much older (or younger) than you. Would they use viagra or would you not even try to have sex with someone so old and delicate?

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When you're bored or alone, you think of an argument you had with a friend recently, then think of all the things you should've said and get all powered up inside, but then you realise it's too late -_-

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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i open the cuboard door tosee if theres anything to eat and if theres nothing there i close it and go to the fridge if theres nothing there i go back to the cuboard =)

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Go to the kitchen to eat, forget what I'm doing, go back to whatever I was doing, and realizing that I'm hungry.

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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I read the down voted posts

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doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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never push to hard on the railing of a tall building, just in case its loose and you end up falling off.

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.