Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.