hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

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When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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Sometimes I toot.

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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I have a band in my head that performs for me every time I listen to music.

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.