turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

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Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Courtesy flush.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.