I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.