Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

I can't piss with my shoes on.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.