After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Kill Jb without getting aressted.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -80

When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -84

scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

thumb_up thumb_down -88

Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -90

when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

thumb_up thumb_down -90

Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

thumb_up thumb_down -92

(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

thumb_up thumb_down -94

Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

thumb_up thumb_down -100

When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

thumb_up thumb_down -106

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

thumb_up thumb_down -112

Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

thumb_up thumb_down -114

Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

thumb_up thumb_down -134

Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

thumb_up thumb_down +39

eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.