start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

when you mouth words (but saying them out loud) when someone can't hear you

Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

Read this site's posts, think of something awesome to write but then forget it because you decided to read more and finish the page rather than write it immediately.

When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

Try to stop a stopwatch exactly on 1 second with no extra milliseconds

like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

I hate being called "buddy".

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.