There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

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Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

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Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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fall asleep in the shower.

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.