start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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when you mouth words (but saying them out loud) when someone can't hear you

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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Read this site's posts, think of something awesome to write but then forget it because you decided to read more and finish the page rather than write it immediately.

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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Try to stop a stopwatch exactly on 1 second with no extra milliseconds

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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I hate being called "buddy".

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.