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Pointless Inventions
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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.
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-68
I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.
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-70
Kill Jb without getting aressted.
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-72
I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home
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-74
Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.
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-76
Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum
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-78
I gotta get down of Friday
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-82
i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.
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-84
Put my hands together the 'other' way
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-94
Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.
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-102
I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava
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-108
I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?
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-114
Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.
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+59
If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.
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+47
Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...
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+41
Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny
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+35
Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.
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+29
When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.
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+27
Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.
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+19
That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.
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+15
Feeling sorry for objects to throw away!! Haha anyone els?
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+11
Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.
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+9
Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.
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+7
Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.
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+7
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.