getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

I gotta get down of Friday

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.