When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

thumb_up thumb_down -87

I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

thumb_up thumb_down -89

Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

thumb_up thumb_down -91

Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

thumb_up thumb_down -115

I have a phobia of incest

thumb_up thumb_down -121

When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down +18

have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

thumb_up thumb_down +14

When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Use my phone to see what time it is

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I hit the frig after sex

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Getting over excited when you hear a song you like on the radio, even though you have it on your Ipod and can listen to it whenever you want.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

thumb_up thumb_down

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.