When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.