Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

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When I am bored I look at things and wonder about the people who made them, and at what time they were made, etc. Like whether my Bic pen was made in the morning or the night. Savy.

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.