Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.