When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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I hit the frig after sex

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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TV turned on just so... Makes you not feeling alone or because some other unknown (or) irrational reason.And of course, feeling guilty cause you spending energy and money but still... Most of the time you just don't care.

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

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I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

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Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

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You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.