When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

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I cant ride a bike

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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When I'm watching a video on YouTube, I repeatedly click on the video slider section below the video because I feel uncomfortable not doing it, ever since I realized that you can't move to different parts of the video with your keyboard without clicking there first.

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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I think Frozen is an overrated film

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Smoking in the shower.

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when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.