eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.