Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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Get extremly pissed off when everyone on youtube thinks that only guys use the website and call you "dude" , "bro" or "sir" when they respond to a comment you posted -_-

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.