When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

thumb_up thumb_down

Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

thumb_up thumb_down

When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

thumb_up thumb_down -8

when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Sometimes I toot.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.