When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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Watching movies about couples with age gaps and woundering how it would feel like to be with somebody much older (or younger) than you. Would they use viagra or would you not even try to have sex with someone so old and delicate?

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I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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Read this site's posts, think of something awesome to write but then forget it because you decided to read more and finish the page rather than write it immediately.

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dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

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my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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i open the cuboard door tosee if theres anything to eat and if theres nothing there i close it and go to the fridge if theres nothing there i go back to the cuboard =)

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Go to the kitchen to eat, forget what I'm doing, go back to whatever I was doing, and realizing that I'm hungry.

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Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.