Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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fall asleep in the shower.

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.