- Things You Think Only You Do

I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

the power to regenerate your appendix

I think of who will I save if a killer come to school

only read the short jokes on this website

Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.