I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.