thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

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You or someone you know has a secret crush/liking but the always shout it to the world. My sister does that.(It's why I ask)

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

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Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.