While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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Ur mum

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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Courtesy flush.

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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I rehearse arguments in my head.

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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Love feet. like LOVE feet.

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I Masturbate Daily.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.