Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.