I always think I have special powers

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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I scratch and sniff.

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when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

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I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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When i was little i used to see people's cars shaking and wondered why they were listening to a song that just goes "BOOM BOOM BOOM"

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Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

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Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

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I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.