- Things You Think Only You Do

whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

Picking my nose.

Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.