I always think I have special powers

strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

I scratch and sniff.

when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

When i was little i used to see people's cars shaking and wondered why they were listening to a song that just goes "BOOM BOOM BOOM"

Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.