When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

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Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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test how many stares you can scale in one step

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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I rehearse arguments in my head.

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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Being fat

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.