When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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When someone close to me sadly passes on and later when I am listening to the radio if I hear a song that sounds suitable to that moment I kind of make that our song if that makes sense to any of you

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Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

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Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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Be a loner at school

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I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

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Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

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When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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Picking your dogs booger for him/her

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.