carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

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Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.