carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

I have autofocus in my eyes.

Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.