At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I have our own language, consisting of movie quotes and silly stuff we made up when we were little. We speak it with abandon when we're alone, and try as hard as we can to suppress it when we're with a friend. But sometimes some of it slips out, and the friend looks at us like he's the guy who isn't in on the joke; I always get the feeling he or she thinks the two of us are crazy. By the way, if you're the third person in company with two close siblings who are speaking their own secret language, don't ask them to explain or look at them like they're crazy. They're not nuts, and you won't understand, even if they try to explain. Just let it pass.

When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.