If i read or see something good (on tv )the next time i daydream i am always some how involved in it

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

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Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

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When I find a new song I like, I listen to it over and over and over; >>Until I run that sh*t into the ground.

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I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.