Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

Go to the kitchen to eat, forget what I'm doing, go back to whatever I was doing, and realizing that I'm hungry.

i open the cuboard door tosee if theres anything to eat and if theres nothing there i close it and go to the fridge if theres nothing there i go back to the cuboard =)

Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

I read the down voted posts

doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

never push to hard on the railing of a tall building, just in case its loose and you end up falling off.

I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

I have autofocus in my eyes.

Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.