(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

I have a phobia of incest

Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.