(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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I have a phobia of incest

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Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

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When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

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When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.