You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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Whe someone buys you a gift and you think they have installed a camera into it or can somehow mentally see you when that gift is near you. Resulting in you acting strange around that it or when you are present in the same room as that gift

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Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

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Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

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Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

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When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.