Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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Go to the kitchen to eat, forget what I'm doing, go back to whatever I was doing, and realizing that I'm hungry.

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i open the cuboard door tosee if theres anything to eat and if theres nothing there i close it and go to the fridge if theres nothing there i go back to the cuboard =)

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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I read the down voted posts

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doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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never push to hard on the railing of a tall building, just in case its loose and you end up falling off.

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.