When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.