- Things You Think Only You Do

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

I Masturbate Daily.

Picking my nose.

OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.