Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

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Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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When I find a new song I like, I listen to it over and over and over; >>Until I run that sh*t into the ground.

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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test how many stares you can scale in one step

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.