Courtesy flush.

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

Love feet. like LOVE feet.

Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

Thinking your life is a movie...

When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.