Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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talking on the phone with somebody and then spending 10 minutes or so looking for your phone...

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I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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Questioning why they make the Captcha's(spamblocker) SO hard to read

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.