Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.