Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

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Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

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Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

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looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

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Sometimes after a long, hard day or when something bad happens I just sit down and cry in the shower.

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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I wonder if sport games are rigged?

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.