When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

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I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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I Masturbate Daily.

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.