try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

thumb_up thumb_down -46

getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

thumb_up thumb_down -54

poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

thumb_up thumb_down -56

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

i masturbate with my feet

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

thumb_up thumb_down -62

When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

thumb_up thumb_down -72

What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

thumb_up thumb_down -82

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -84

scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

thumb_up thumb_down -96

When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.