I rehearse arguments in my head.

I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

I Masturbate Daily.

When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

i masturbate with my feet

Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

read on youtube comments with too unlikes

Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

When I am bored I look at things and wonder about the people who made them, and at what time they were made, etc. Like whether my Bic pen was made in the morning or the night. Savy.

sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

I can't piss with my shoes on.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.