I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Make up a song to yourself.

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.