Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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I used to eat bath bubbles

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I always try to play it cool and act like it’s no big deal. But I always have a mini anxiety attack before actually stepping onto a moving escalator. It is a task trying to time my step perfectly where my foot isn’t hanging off a step and I have to hurry my second foot on there isn’t an awdward space of steps between my feet. -Ikka

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.