Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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I hold my breath in elevators

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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I don't read the terms of service.

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I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

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Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

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When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

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Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.