When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

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When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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Getting over excited when you hear a song you like on the radio, even though you have it on your Ipod and can listen to it whenever you want.

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

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When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

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Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

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When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.