- Things You Think Only You Do

Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

acting as if you can shoot with a banana

When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.