Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

Ur mum

I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

Courtesy flush.

Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

I rehearse arguments in my head.

You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

Love feet. like LOVE feet.

I Masturbate Daily.

So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.