When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

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doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Only use the left earphone.

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.