when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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I spin around in a spot, and then close my eyes and tilt my head up and to the opposite side i'm spinning to. It just feels awesome and it's even better while listening to music.

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Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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When I find a new song I like, I listen to it over and over and over; >>Until I run that sh*t into the ground.

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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fap

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I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

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has a plastic bag full of plastic bags in your house

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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Picking my nose.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.