Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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When I'm watching a video on YouTube, I repeatedly click on the video slider section below the video because I feel uncomfortable not doing it, ever since I realized that you can't move to different parts of the video with your keyboard without clicking there first.

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

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Smoking in the shower.

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.