At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

fap

has a plastic bag full of plastic bags in your house

Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

Picking my nose.

sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

try to give your friends spirit animals

I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

Kill Jb without getting aressted.

Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

The older I get the more honest I get

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.