turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

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When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

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When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

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I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

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Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

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When I find a new song I like, I listen to it over and over and over; >>Until I run that sh*t into the ground.

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.