Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

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forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

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Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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test how many stares you can scale in one step

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.