I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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Mayada stupid

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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I sometime's wonder if other people can see and feel everything I can but are just in my body too judge me.

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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Do somthing only you do

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Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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freak out if poster or pictures eyes are looking at me and can't have pictures in my room of famous people, however if I'm out and scared i have to have the pictures on my phone look at me for safety.....really wondering if any one else has this

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When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.