I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.