trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

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I **** with no hands.

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I gotta get down of Friday

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Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.