Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

thumb_up thumb_down -21

if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I used to eat bath bubbles

thumb_up thumb_down -29

For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I spin around in a spot, and then close my eyes and tilt my head up and to the opposite side i'm spinning to. It just feels awesome and it's even better while listening to music.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

the power to regenerate your appendix

thumb_up thumb_down -37

in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

only read the short jokes on this website

thumb_up thumb_down -39

While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

thumb_up thumb_down -39

When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.