Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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I **** with no hands.

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.