Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

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When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

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Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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I cant ride a bike

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.