Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

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When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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Imagine flying things and epic battles when listening to music.

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Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

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put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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You or someone you know has a secret crush/liking but the always shout it to the world. My sister does that.(It's why I ask)

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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I used to eat bath bubbles

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Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

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Swirling your hair through your hair while something is loading.

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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I always try to play it cool and act like it’s no big deal. But I always have a mini anxiety attack before actually stepping onto a moving escalator. It is a task trying to time my step perfectly where my foot isn’t hanging off a step and I have to hurry my second foot on there isn’t an awdward space of steps between my feet. -Ikka

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.