Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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Feeling sorry for objects to throw away!! Haha anyone els?

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

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I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.