When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

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Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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I **** with no hands.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.