Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

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I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

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I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Courtesy flush.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.