Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

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when i watch a movie, and a character in it gos underwater, i hold my breath with that person until that person gets above water, then i let go, either that, after the character comes up from the water, i still hold my breath until i cant take it anymore.

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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I used to eat bath bubbles

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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I don't read the terms of service.

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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test how many stares you can scale in one step

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.