Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

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Get extremly pissed off when everyone on youtube thinks that only guys use the website and call you "dude" , "bro" or "sir" when they respond to a comment you posted -_-

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.