I Masturbate Daily.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

thumb_up thumb_down -62

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

thumb_up thumb_down -62

I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

thumb_up thumb_down -68

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

thumb_up thumb_down -70

(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

thumb_up thumb_down -72

check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

thumb_up thumb_down -74

When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Kill Jb without getting aressted.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

thumb_up thumb_down -78

I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

thumb_up thumb_down -80

When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

thumb_up thumb_down -82

Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

thumb_up thumb_down -92

Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

thumb_up thumb_down -100

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.