I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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I like to watch lava lamps heat up

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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Half of these posts are all but "things you think only you do". So is mine

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When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

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When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.