Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

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When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

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I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.