- Things You Think Only You Do

Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

Courtesy flush.

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

I rehearse arguments in my head.

When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

Love feet. like LOVE feet.

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.