Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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I gotta get down of Friday

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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I have a phobia of incest

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I like to watch lava lamps heat up

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.