cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

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When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

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I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

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Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

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Keep things on my body equal. ex. Hold something in my right hand so I hold something equally heavy in my left hand.

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

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I used to eat bath bubbles

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When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

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When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

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Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

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When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

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When I find a new song I like, I listen to it over and over and over; >>Until I run that sh*t into the ground.

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I don't read the terms of service.

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.