accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

thumb_up thumb_down +14

That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Stab myself on a daily basis

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

thumb_up thumb_down

Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

thumb_up thumb_down

in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

thumb_up thumb_down

Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

thumb_up thumb_down

When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

thumb_up thumb_down

When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.