For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

thumb_up thumb_down -33

doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

thumb_up thumb_down -37

eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

thumb_up thumb_down -43

go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

thumb_up thumb_down -45

If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

thumb_up thumb_down -45

I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

I think Frozen is an overrated film

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

thumb_up thumb_down -49

getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

thumb_up thumb_down -51

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.