- Things You Think Only You Do

Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.