Try stick to something but fail in the end

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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Go to the kitchen to eat, forget what I'm doing, go back to whatever I was doing, and realizing that I'm hungry.

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Keep things on my body equal. ex. Hold something in my right hand so I hold something equally heavy in my left hand.

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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Whenever I'm holding two round objects, I try to juggle them.

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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Love feet. like LOVE feet.

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

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Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.