Sitting down in the shower

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.