Only use the left earphone.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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try to give your friends spirit animals

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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The older I get the more honest I get

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.