Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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Be a loner at school

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

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Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

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Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

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I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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Picking your dogs booger for him/her

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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I used to eat bath bubbles

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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I spin around in a spot, and then close my eyes and tilt my head up and to the opposite side i'm spinning to. It just feels awesome and it's even better while listening to music.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.