I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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I have a phobia of incest

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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I chew my ice cream.

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When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.