There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

thumb_up thumb_down -22

wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

thumb_up thumb_down -24

get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

thumb_up thumb_down -32

When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

only read the short jokes on this website

thumb_up thumb_down -36

When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

thumb_up thumb_down -38

I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.