I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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not be afraid of hurricane sandy

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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I mean Diana Ross.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.