I have a phobia of incest

thumb_up thumb_down -121

If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

thumb_up thumb_down +18

When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

thumb_up thumb_down

Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

thumb_up thumb_down

When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

thumb_up thumb_down

Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

thumb_up thumb_down

When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

thumb_up thumb_down

When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

TV turned on just so... Makes you not feeling alone or because some other unknown (or) irrational reason.And of course, feeling guilty cause you spending energy and money but still... Most of the time you just don't care.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.