When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

when i watch a movie, and a character in it gos underwater, i hold my breath with that person until that person gets above water, then i let go, either that, after the character comes up from the water, i still hold my breath until i cant take it anymore.

I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

I used to eat bath bubbles

Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.