Only use the left earphone.

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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i masturbate with my feet

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.