I rehearse arguments in my head.

trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

read on youtube comments with too unlikes

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

I can't piss with my shoes on.

I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

I was the real Stig...

I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.