I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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Smoking in the shower.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.