At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

Only use the left earphone.

when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

Believing in the kindness of strangers

When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

Kill Jb without getting aressted.

(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.