When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.