I have a phobia of incest

If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.

masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

TV turned on just so... Makes you not feeling alone or because some other unknown (or) irrational reason.And of course, feeling guilty cause you spending energy and money but still... Most of the time you just don't care.

I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.