- Things You Think Only You Do

If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

only read the short jokes on this website

Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

has a plastic bag full of plastic bags in your house

try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

Being fat

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.