Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

only read the short jokes on this website

use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

Reading all these posts and being reminded that we are all more similar to each other than we think, regardless of whatever group each of us may belong to.

jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

I rehearse arguments in my head.

sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.