I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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I think Frozen is an overrated film

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

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I have memorized my drivers license registration number

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.