fap

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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Being fat

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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I **** with no hands.

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.

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I chew my ice cream.

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.