Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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Reading all these posts and being reminded that we are all more similar to each other than we think, regardless of whatever group each of us may belong to.

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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I rehearse arguments in my head.

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

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I have memorized my drivers license registration number

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.