laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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I hold my breath in elevators

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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I think about other women when having sex

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.