Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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Love feet. like LOVE feet.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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I have a phobia of incest

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.