HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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try to give your friends spirit animals

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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I have a phobia of incest

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.