- Things You Think Only You Do

Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

I cant ride a bike

When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

the power to regenerate your appendix

Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.