- Things You Think Only You Do

get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

Be a loner at school

Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.