Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.