listen to madonnas new album

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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if your behind glass or a window and you see a group outside, imagine their conversation.

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.