When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.