only read the short jokes on this website

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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test how many stares you can scale in one step

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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I Masturbate Daily.

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.