Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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Sometimes I toot.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.