- Things You Think Only You Do

Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

Sitting down in the shower

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.