everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.