I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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Smoking in the shower.

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.