I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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I like to watch lava lamps heat up

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Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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I sometime's wonder if other people can see and feel everything I can but are just in my body too judge me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.