I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

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When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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When I'm watching a video on YouTube, I repeatedly click on the video slider section below the video because I feel uncomfortable not doing it, ever since I realized that you can't move to different parts of the video with your keyboard without clicking there first.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Smoking in the shower.

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.