Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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I gotta get down of Friday

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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I have a phobia of incest

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.