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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open
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-18
Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.
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-20
When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.
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-20
Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....
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-20
When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.
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-22
Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.
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-22
I hold my breath in elevators
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-24
When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know
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-24
I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)
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-26
Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.
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-26
Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.
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-26
When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.
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-30
Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.
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-30
I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body
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-30
Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.
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-32
Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.
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-32
only read the short jokes on this website
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-34
Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts
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-36
Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.
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-36
I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.
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-38
turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again
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-38
The power to put a pointless super power on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com
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-40
I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.
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-40
I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".
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-40
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.