Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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Make up a song to yourself.

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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Getting over excited when you hear a song you like on the radio, even though you have it on your Ipod and can listen to it whenever you want.

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.