I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

I have autofocus in my eyes.

Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

I like to watch lava lamps heat up

Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

I sometime's wonder if other people can see and feel everything I can but are just in my body too judge me.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.