stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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I have a phobia of incest

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

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While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.