I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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I like to watch lava lamps heat up

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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Feeling sorry for objects to throw away!! Haha anyone els?

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.