I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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Courtesy flush.

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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I have a phobia of incest

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.