see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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test how many stares you can scale in one step

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.