I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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The power to put a pointless super power on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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I rehearse arguments in my head.

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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I have memorized my drivers license registration number

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.