I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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I scratch and sniff.

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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Sometimes after a long, hard day or when something bad happens I just sit down and cry in the shower.

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

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Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

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Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

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When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

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When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.