Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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I hit the frig after sex

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I sometime's wonder if other people can see and feel everything I can but are just in my body too judge me.

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

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Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.