Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

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I used to eat bath bubbles

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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I cant ride a bike

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.