get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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I used to eat bath bubbles

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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I cant ride a bike

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.