I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

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I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.