get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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I hold my breath in elevators

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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When a book is boring, i will think of my favouite song and then i will start singing the book, like i will look at the words and ligit, start singing them in my favourite tune~im so weird

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

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After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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test how many stares you can scale in one step

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.