Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

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Picking your dogs booger for him/her

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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fap

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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the time where you sit behind a person that smells like BO badly!!!

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.