Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

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Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

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In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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Get extremly pissed off when everyone on youtube thinks that only guys use the website and call you "dude" , "bro" or "sir" when they respond to a comment you posted -_-

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.