only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

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I wonder if sport games are rigged?

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Read posts on this website and realize there are a lot of weirdos in the world.

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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Make hand gestures when talking on phone

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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Play as both sides on fifa

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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Simultaneously apply pressure to my ears to make the surrounding noises sound weird Tristan J.

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.