Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Picking my nose.

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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I have a phobia of incest

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.