Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

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Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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Being fat

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.