RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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Picking my nose.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.