When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

thumb_up thumb_down -68

When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

thumb_up thumb_down -76

scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

thumb_up thumb_down -88

Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -90

You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

thumb_up thumb_down -94

Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

thumb_up thumb_down -100

Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Go for a 10 mile run.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

thumb_up thumb_down +33

eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

thumb_up thumb_down +31

masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I sleep in my underpants every single night

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.