Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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Love feet. like LOVE feet.

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.