- Things You Think Only You Do

Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

Ur mum

When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

fap

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! end of special message just for you

Believing in the kindness of strangers

I have autofocus in my eyes.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.