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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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I used to eat bath bubbles

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.