I **** with no hands.

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I gotta get down of Friday

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.