Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Love feet. like LOVE feet.

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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Sitting down in the shower

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.