When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

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Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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Being fat

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.