cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

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I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

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I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

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I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

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When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.