Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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Show all your friends this website to prove your not as strange as they think you are.

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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Being fat

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i masturbate with my feet

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.