sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Justin Beiber is a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I spin around in a spot, and then close my eyes and tilt my head up and to the opposite side i'm spinning to. It just feels awesome and it's even better while listening to music.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

thumb_up thumb_down -37

walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

thumb_up thumb_down -39

only read the short jokes on this website

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

thumb_up thumb_down -41

When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

thumb_up thumb_down -41

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

thumb_up thumb_down -43

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

thumb_up thumb_down -43

I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

thumb_up thumb_down -45

I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

thumb_up thumb_down -47

When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.