I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

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Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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I scratch and sniff.

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When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.