cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.