Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

thumb_up thumb_down -68

I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

thumb_up thumb_down -78

You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

thumb_up thumb_down -92

I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

thumb_up thumb_down -108

Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

thumb_up thumb_down -112

Make up a song to yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -158

If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

thumb_up thumb_down +35

dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.