Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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try to give your friends spirit animals

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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When I am bored I look at things and wonder about the people who made them, and at what time they were made, etc. Like whether my Bic pen was made in the morning or the night. Savy.

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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I **** with no hands.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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I gotta get down of Friday

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.