You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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Sometimes after a long, hard day or when something bad happens I just sit down and cry in the shower.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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Pretend to be texting to look popular in public

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right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.