Being fat

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

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Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

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Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.