- Things You Think Only You Do

I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

only read the short jokes on this website

When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

The power to put a pointless super power on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com

After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

I rehearse arguments in my head.

Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

sometimes sigh sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.