Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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Being fat

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.