Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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The older I get the more honest I get

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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I sometime's wonder if other people can see and feel everything I can but are just in my body too judge me.

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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You or someone you know has a secret crush/liking but the always shout it to the world. My sister does that.(It's why I ask)

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Imagine flying things and epic battles when listening to music.

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

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I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

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I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.