If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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Love feet. like LOVE feet.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.