How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

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if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

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I hold my breath in elevators

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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When a book is boring, i will think of my favouite song and then i will start singing the book, like i will look at the words and ligit, start singing them in my favourite tune~im so weird

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

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After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.