- Things You Think Only You Do

when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

sometimes sigh sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.