- Things You Think Only You Do

Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

I used to eat bath bubbles

Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

the power to regenerate your appendix

I talk to inanimate objects daily.

RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

only read the short jokes on this website

Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.