Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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I have a phobia of incest

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

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Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.