I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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Ur mum

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

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Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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Try to stop a stopwatch exactly on 1 second with no extra milliseconds

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

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Hang something small in front of the webcam, in case someone is secretly watching me.

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when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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play on your game for ten minutes before you realise why you stoppedd the last time

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.