Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

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I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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When I'm watching a video on YouTube, I repeatedly click on the video slider section below the video because I feel uncomfortable not doing it, ever since I realized that you can't move to different parts of the video with your keyboard without clicking there first.

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.