- Things You Think Only You Do

eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

only read the short jokes on this website

i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

I rehearse arguments in my head.

Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

I ship Bolin and Korra as a romance and a bromance. Am I weird for doing this?

I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.