- Things You Think Only You Do

You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

Run faster down hotel corridors.

If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....fap fap fap"

Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.