I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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try to give your friends spirit animals

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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I **** with no hands.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.