- Things You Think Only You Do

only read the short jokes on this website

forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

test how many stares you can scale in one step

jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.