turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

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Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

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I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.