I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

When a book is boring, i will think of my favouite song and then i will start singing the book, like i will look at the words and ligit, start singing them in my favourite tune~im so weird

Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

only read the short jokes on this website

I don't read the terms of service.

doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

test how many stares you can scale in one step

I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.