Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

thumb_up thumb_down -79

I was not born in the country I am living in now

thumb_up thumb_down -79

click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

thumb_up thumb_down -81

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

thumb_up thumb_down -85

When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -87

Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -91

I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

thumb_up thumb_down -99

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

thumb_up thumb_down -111

Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

thumb_up thumb_down -115

Run faster down hotel corridors.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

thumb_up thumb_down +32

make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.