Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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I have a phobia of incest

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The older I get the more honest I get

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dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

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Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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Getting over excited when you hear a song you like on the radio, even though you have it on your Ipod and can listen to it whenever you want.

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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I hit the frig after sex

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.