- Things You Think Only You Do

Sometimes I toot.

Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

I used to eat bath bubbles

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.